Strange month

I have successfully romanced both a 24 year old and a Chechen.

And seen Get Smart and the Zohan movie.

Polycystic ovary syndrome is an interesting disease.

RIP George Carlin 1937-2008

"Religion-easily-has the Greatest Bullshit Story Ever Told! Think about it:religion has actually convinced people-many of them adults-that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky and watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And who has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do.
And if you do any of these things, he as a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to remain and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, till the end of time. But he loves you!
He loves you, and he needs money! He always needs money. He's all-powerful,all-knowing, all-perfect, and all-wise, but somehow...he just can't handle money. Religion takes in billions of dollars, pays no taxes, and somehow always needs a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy shit!"

-George Carlin
Moi avec green tint


The first part of my 21st birthday was a success. I know that was because I was with Jamie for the whole day. It was de-lovely
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This made me laugh

**What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican :**

1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.

2. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and Hillary Clinton.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and antagonize our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

11. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

16. Supporting "Executive Privilege" is imperative for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born ( in perpetuity.)

17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

18. There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their friends and blaming the friends for looking too much like quail.

I like

getting photographed by competent photographers. Jamie is so fun and knows what poses she wants.

I don't think I ever want to be a celebrity. When I dressed up in my Jack Sparrow outfit and got that much attention from people at the harbor, it was a bit disarming. Though, I appreciated that people thought the costume was a success. Maybe it's because I didn't really feel ownership of it. Like, someone outsourcing.

David Sedaris

I got Me Talk Pretty One Day and Holiday On Ice in the mail. It's awesome. My head is in such a flux as it is trying to fully develop this story in my head. Plus, school is 3 days away. Times like these, I could use a Xanax.

To sum it up

"What fucking Ian guy? Laura doesn't know anybody called Ian. There's no Ian in her office. She has no friends called Ian! I'm almost certain she has never met anyone named Ian in her entire life. She lives in an --"Ian-less" universe. (something dawns on him and he picks up a letter discarded on a table) "I. Raymond" Ray. "I." Ian. (crumples it) Mr. I. Raymond. "Ray" to his friends and more importantly, to his neighbor. The guy who, until about six weeks ago, lived upstairs. I start to remember things about him now. His horrible clothes and hair. His music: Latin and Bulgarian, whatever world music was trendy that week. He had rings on his fingers. Awful cooking smells. I never liked him much then, and I fuckin' hate him now. (not able to sleep, crying a little) We used to listen to him having sex. Upstairs. (we see Rob's nightmare: Ian and Laura having wild crazy sex, and we hear them as well) You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian in my head."-High Fidelity
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